...confused...

...i dun noe wat to say reli....im sry..even though i noe it wont mean much anymore...i hate being confused...i feel so lightheaded, i cant even think properly in this state...i thought it will be 1 happy memory out of all this pain...i dun noe but i guess i wasnt thinking properly? mayb becuz i knew it was a plan wif onli 25% success, i jus agreed...i thought u wouldnt be able to go anyway...so carefree rite?...i didnt care i guess...i didnt bother to care actually...this is jus me....im an idiotic person n i never bother to think things through properly when i feel its a waste of time or when its disturbing me....i never cared...mayb thats it...

...my heart feel very pain...why is that?i dun noe if its mentally or physically hurting...i know wat its like to feel betrayed...i never thought it would happen again...so...im confused...i cant think straight..thought r coming n going...jus like the wind....its so...random.
i guess doing this is no gud,its not like u would forgive me but at least i could write something...
i will contact u when i hav thought this through...maybe 9 a.m?midnite?3 in the morning?i dun noe...
I am sorry....sry for being so carefree...now...i feel like i dun care anymore...hehe...sry...^^