why m i always alone?

...i couldnt do anything...i couldnt say  anything....
...i guess u wanna noe why i would always smile after every argument,every fight...after feeling...'wat did i do wrong?'
i did it so i could continue living....if i didnt i would hav fell into the darkness becuz no1 was there for me....
no1 to help me wen i was alone...i said would i stop crying rite? but i broke my promise....i dun noe wat to do anymore...i dun noe wat to believe in anymore....
u noe wats so ironic?wen i need some1 to be there for me..no1 will come....but wen i dun need any1 ...some1 will jus pop up...
...i thought...why dun i help others when they r in need?mayb if i were there for them i wont hav to feel so helpless becuz i was doing something...i was helping ppl in their time of need wen no1 came to mine
i was happy doing wat i wanted to do...now...i dun even noe wat i want to do anymore...i dun noe wat to believe anymore...

sry oh...long time no blog...hehe....^^

hihi!
i giv some updates here la...
last week our assessments finished now the freakin teachers r preparing us for our exams which r not even a month away...how do they plan?we jus finished a test now got another 1....
anywayzzz.......last sunday me n other ppl had a fight wif our lifelong fren n it sort of ended well but another problem came up n....it was becuz some1 involved in this fight told every1 abt it n it was a personal,embrassing mater....it wasnt even a sch day but an hour later every1 in yr.8 knew abt it.....so the ppl involved were pissed n well....they were blaming my fren for smth she nv did...but in the end they found out it was a misunderstanding n it all came out well....
now theres another annoying matter....sm freakin ppl hate this fren of mine n wrote some letter containing every bad word u could ever think of abt her....teacher took the letter now every teacher  noes abt it...n it isnt even true....n wats so anoying is the teachers think the letter is true n now they all dun like my fren who is the victim here but currently the matter is going away...
eh.....wat else is there?
oh ya....my fren broke up wif her bf william becuz of aome reason i still dun noe abt
i feel sad they did....my best fren did love him but he was older then her ...n the parents found out...so...its sad......
hehe...wat else is there?
wait....dun blame me for posting this long thing...im always like this ...i dun even care how long it is as long as it interest me...but i feel lucky to hav so gud frens..i will end here today...i write so long alredi...hehe ^^

bear wif me this sort of stuff becuz its for a fren...

i told my self to nv cry n nv giv up becuz i knew
'above all those clouds the sky is nv ending'
if i try hard enough it will hav its rewards...
its a wonderful thig reli to try hard
as long as u hav a goal
yur r nv lost

advice to rainy...my lonely past...

Im gonna tell u wat to do in this or any other kind of situation
for me...i never cry unless i cant help myself
even if im hurt...i wont show my feelings...becuz i dun wan any1 to worry abt me
honestly...there was a time when i thought i wasnt wanted or meant to be in this world
at that time i wouldnt...i COULDNT cry becuz i thought if i did i would be swallowed up by the water under me
every movement i made might unbalanced myself n i would fall where no1 could pull me out from
n then 1 day i jus couldnt take it anymore
i jus...sort of...fell apart
i started crying n that was the time wen i knew there was some ppl who would be there for me no matter wat n if i disappeared they would worry
i was finally accepted by every1 including myself
i feel i was thinking all the time that others didnt accept me
but in truth i didnt accept myself for who i was
so i guess...im going out of topic
but i wanna say i cant help u if u keep to yurself in that box of yurs
jus becuz wat happened today broke yur heart doesnt mean there wont be any other chances out there in that large world
this was wat i came to conclude...after suffering myself...
n share yur pains becuz if u bottle it up..its painful,very,very painful
if u think u can handle it think again...

kitty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today at sch three kittens gotten into our sch block
im so worried!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was praying there were ok in class the whole morning
teacher took them n gav them to the workers or smth i hope they arent separated or anything because i think they r all bros n sis but they were so cute~!!
back to presant time
lucky's missing!!!
my fren put her in the court yard n she is so small she slipped through the gate!!!
wat r we gonna do?
4 kittens in a day...