why m i always alone?

...i couldnt do anything...i couldnt say  anything....
...i guess u wanna noe why i would always smile after every argument,every fight...after feeling...'wat did i do wrong?'
i did it so i could continue living....if i didnt i would hav fell into the darkness becuz no1 was there for me....
no1 to help me wen i was alone...i said would i stop crying rite? but i broke my promise....i dun noe wat to do anymore...i dun noe wat to believe in anymore....
u noe wats so ironic?wen i need some1 to be there for me..no1 will come....but wen i dun need any1 ...some1 will jus pop up...
...i thought...why dun i help others when they r in need?mayb if i were there for them i wont hav to feel so helpless becuz i was doing something...i was helping ppl in their time of need wen no1 came to mine
i was happy doing wat i wanted to do...now...i dun even noe wat i want to do anymore...i dun noe wat to believe anymore...